Potential

For someone who often feels she hasn’t done much I have had a lot of previous lives. I was a classroom teacher. I revamped the recruiting department of an ocean-going educational program and I was a regional rep for a program of a national museum. I was a salesperson for a silk screening company and I have sold ads, popcorn, snow cones and racing programs.

As a volunteer I have been board president for a childcare center and head of fundraising for an after school where I spearheaded an online auction and an innovative photo campaign.

I feel as though I have a lot of potential – not potential energy as I have never thought of myself as someone with a lot of energy. Persistence, yes, energy, not so much, but potential.

Each path I have chosen has closed off options yet in life there are very few do overs and there are only so many levels of undo available so instead of focusing on the undo button I hope to create a ToDo and a DoDo button (yes, I said doo doo.) There are still many desirable possibilities I have yet to explore.

I was describing my plan to someone and she suggested I take a class in something I have always wanted to do but hadn’t allowed myself to try. Figuring I would start small I flipped through the local community adult education offerings and found a harmonica class. I have fooled around with my mom’s old harmonica for years making sounds but never learning to play any songs. This could be a great start!

“Harmonica!” I said. “I’m going to learn how to play harmonica.”
She laughed.
“I’m serious!”
She laughed again.
“I would love to know how to play the harmonica.”
As her laughter grew louder I realized this journey may be harder and lonelier than I thought.